Misc slogans, enter in the text box once you have selected an item

No vices

Well bred

Manure happens

11 players 1 team

Trashy but flashy

Come play with me

Hugs are fully returnable

I’m your father, not an atm

United we play united we win

I’m in shape – round is a shape

Places to go, people to annoy

Football is life get in the game

I can’t remember if i’m the good twin or the evil one

Welcome to kentucky – set your watch back 20 years

I’m dressed and out of bed – what more do you want?

I live in my own world but it’s ok – they know me here

Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams

Next time you think you’re so smart, try walking on water

I’m extremley patiant providing i get my own way in the end

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I take my wife everywhere but she keeps finding her way back

Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any

You’re just jealous because the little voices are talking to me

Beer is living proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t

The problem with opportunity is that it only knocks, while temptation kicks in the door

Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt

Instead of telling the world what you’re going to do, why not show us what you’ve done!

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter

A true friend is one you can sit on a park bench with never say a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation ever

If you stop searching, you stop living, because then you’re dwelling in the past. If you’re not reaching forward to any growth or future, you might as well be dead.


More than a hand full is a waist

Bent the rules and the rules won

He who laughs last thinks slowest

A team above all – above all a team

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving

I’m a natural blonde – speak slowly

Nice legs…. What time are they open

If i follow you home will you keep me

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Without music, life would be a mistake

You’re a naughty boy – go to my room

Ex-wife for sale; just take over payments

The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it

Finally 21 and legally able to do everything i’ve been doing since 15

Be careful about reading health books? You may die from a misprint

If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough

Constent effort & frequent mistakes are the stepping stones of genius

Growing older is compulsory – growing up however remains optional

One reason i don’t drink is that i want to know when i am having a good time

If you choose a job that you like you will never have to work a day in your life

I may be drunk, miss, but in the morning i will be sober and you will still be ugly

Sex is like bridge? If you dont have a good partner, you better have a good hand

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people

Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them

If the right side of the brain governs the left side of the body, then left-handed people are the only ones in their right minds!

A woman needs four animals in her life – a mink on her back, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed and an ass to pay for it all

Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in


Life’s too short to dance with ugly women

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

When god made me, he was just showing off

Chaos! Panic! Disorder! My work here is done

Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time

Don’t take life too serious, it’s not permanent

Reality… an illusion caused by lack of alcohol

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught

A mistake is simply another way of doing things

I got this shirt when i turned 40; i hate this shirt

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps

Horses! The best way to turn money into manure

This body is a temple; chocolate worshipped daily

Here i am – now what are your other two wishes?

When did my wild oats turn into shredded wheat?

The road to success is always under construction

It’s hard to be humble, when you’re as great as i am

Real men don’t waste their hormones growing hair

I have the body of a god; unfortunately, it’s buddha

They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken

Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare

(on the front) “i cannot be bought” – (on the back) “inquire about leasing”

The man who never makes a mistake always takes orders from one who does

My husband and i divorced over religious differences – he thought he was god and i didn’t

When i was a boy i was told anybody could become primminister now i’m beginning to belive it

I became a policeman because i wanted to be in a business where the customer is always wrong

The weaker sex is the stronger sex because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex

I can only be nice to one person today – today is not your day – tomorrow doesn’t look good, either

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office